Saturday, May 7, 2011

Still not

Ugh, I am still not below 300 pounds yet. Grrr. I was down as low as 300.6 but for no apparent reason (seriously!) went back up to 302.

Yesterday I had another "fail" at going out to eat with friends, but to be fair, it was rather accidental on my part; I ordered a main dish that was totally on program (chicken with greens and tomatoes at a Lebanese place), but then also ordered an appetizer of spinach pies, which in retrospect was a dumb move... anything with the word "pie" in it is surely something to avoid when I am in diet phase. They ended up being three little dough pillows filled with spinach, and no one in my party wanted them and I knew that my partner wouldn't want to eat them if I brought them home. Honestly, I just couldn't bear wasting the money or the food. Stupid, I know. So, I ended up eating them.

That wasn't the worst of it, though. It ended up being a full-blown bad day. My relationship has been very stressful lately for reasons that I won't go into here, and yesterday I just lost the ability to deal with it rationally anymore. I've been very consciously trying NOT to turn to food when I am upset these days and it's been working pretty well, but yesterday after the spinach pies thing I pretty much decided to just eat. I ended up eating 6 (rather thin) slices of pizza that my partner got, and a bowl of ice cream, and some pretzels and cheese dip, and a bowl of popcorn. All told I suppose I have certainly done worse for myself, and I never really felt out of control, but it was still something I was just compelled to do, like it was all I could do. Of course I do know otherwise.

I really, really lucked out — or maybe it was the yard work I also did yesterday — but I didn't show a gain today.

Also, my period is finally over.

I will be eating totally on plan today, and crossing my fingers that I finally reach my first big goal tomorrow. It often happens that way post-binge.

Technically tomorrow begins my first day on maintenance, but I've made the executive decision to remain on program until I go away to Michigan on Saturday, and then I will go on maintenance. I would like some padding between me and 300 pounds if at all possible before I leave — and yes, I am bringing my scale with me!

In other news, those size 22 pants I have in my wardrobe are just about wearable outside the house. I was even able to squeeze into those size 20 jeans I bought the last time I lost weight and never got to wear — tags still on, even! That's awesome.

1 comment:

  1. Unfortunately the road to thinner is not straight. *sigh* wouldn't that be nice!! But instead full of lots of left turns. BUT its ALSO full of RIGHT turns!! So keep on trying to pull the car to the right and eventually you will end up with way more right turns than lefts. Congrats on the "squeeeeze" though!! Always awesome when you can see you are moving and going some place! Good luck this week! You can do it!
    *huggles* =0)